Emotional Cheating. Tell it; Don’t Tell It.

There is a whole side of cheating rather than the physical I found you I’m bed engulfed in another woman’s arms. Cheating can be physical, yes, but it can also be emotional as well as psychological. While physical cheating is what makes most relationships end on account of getting caught; emotional cheating is what results in a disconnect between partners. It results in a lack of trust, insecurity and constant feeling of guilt. Let me define emotional cheating… To me, it is when you give someone else the attention that is supposed to be your partner’s. You tell this person everything your partner is supposed to know, you trust them with all elements of your life and in short, you use this particular person to fill the void that your partner should ultimately be in. You give this person the power to make you happy and sad as they deem fit and your partner ends up being the other partner in the picture. Here comes in the psychological cheating, where you think of someone else (not your partner) in a romantic and sexual way. This is where people end up calling Peter instead of John when they have sex. Or Mary instead of Jane.

I was once a victim of emotional cheating. Then, I and babe had been having some problems and although we tried to talk things out, things were not getting any better. As a result, when this other tall dark and a handsome guy came along, I was too quick to allow him into my life and we talked much and built a relationship. My boyfriend did not notice at all, funny we used to meet every day and have long walked from 5 to around 6:30 but babe would not even sense something was amiss.

He was too preoccupied with his stuff and let’s be honest; his preoccupied nature was our problem. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday… I started developing feelings for this guy ( I wouldn’t exactly say feelings, it was just a tingling sensation when we hugged which I don’t like feeling. This is exactly why I don’t give men full hugs) and in return, he started pressing me to leave my boyfriend and date him.

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Please note that this wasn’t the first time someone asked me to leave him and whenever someone asked me to; I would remember the Sunday of December when I was freezing cold in his place in tears asking him for forgiveness for something I did in high school and asking him to formally be my boyfriend. I don’t care what anyone thinks; I handpicked my boyfriend from the crowd and during the year that I stalked him and learned his patterns- I clarified that he was the best for me (This was the first time I was asked to leave him).

On Friday, eaten with guilt, I decided to tell my boyfriend the truth. I had cheated on him. Of course, I didn’t give him the big picture and he just told me to stop talking to the guy and we were cool. (Please note, I hadn’t slept with the guy). That Friday evening I went home hoping that my revelation will switch things up with boo but everything was the same. He wasn’t communicating; no calls and I just wanted someone to talk to. On Sunday morning I texted the guy hey.