Being sexy is overrated! Why do I say this? Because people are often victimized on account of not being sexy enough. Once in the middle of an argument that my girl had with some guy; the guy pointed out to my friend that he wasn’t going to waste his time on a girl who “isn’t even that pretty”.( He said ye ni sure mbaya which is actually not true. The girl is actually very pretty!) Sometimes, it feels easier to hide your face and not subject yourself to the ratings and opinions the world has to offer. SMH.
Please note that although I consider myself to be a beautiful person; I don’t think that I’m attractive enough to be called sexy. Yes, when I walk into a room most heads would turn but I’m pretty sure they would not turn for the second time. Not the “OMG I can’t get over your looks” turn all the same. This is actually how I lived my life considering people to be impassive to what I looked like or whether I was gaining weight or losing it (please note that my mother is not among these ‘people’. The woman is actually like my virtual weighing machine.).
Once in class 6, when I was still a newcomer in my then primary school, we had a joint class to mark and revise a previous social studies exam. Being new, I didn’t know that people were not allowed to mark above the answer on the answer sheet. We were to mark on the question ( I hope you can understand what I mean my loves). Anyway, the teacher in question asked who the hell did that and my neighbor was quick enough to point me out. What followed next was a series of insults including his ultimate slang ‘mbumbumbu ja mzungu was reli‘ while he finished by telling me my head looked like an opened pot (this is the reason I am not comfortable having cornrows that meet at the center of my head.). Since then, I considered myself to not be attractive at all
- Virginity… Would you marry a deflowered woman?
- Pregnancies. How my mother became my nightmare
- Infertility. Into the bedroom of an infertile woman
- Being bisexual… Man, woman, unicorn, table?
Ah, that was before my hips began to show through. The same year at around third term things took a separate turn. We had been failing our exams being defeated by the sister stream and as punishment, our teacher decided it was best to take away our lockers and make it a rule to not have shoes in class. We were to take out our shoes before entering the classroom and wear them back on upon leaving; in short. On this particular day (it was break time) and I had just arrived on the door to class after doing whatever it is class six students do during the break. Nobody visible was around when I got there and I bent down to take off my shoes the classic Ludovika style (for those who have read Caucasian chalk circle). No sooner had I taken off my first shoe than I felt something touch my ass. I looked back startled only to see my class teacher leaking his lips while holding his ‘pipe’. I was a child; I don’t take it too seriously but my facial expression clearly told him to back off.
Two years later, however, another teacher decided it was his turn. We had the custom revision that afternoon which involved us being caned for every question we had gotten wrong. In one of them, only two of us had failed. I took the beating last. He held my dress by the side and stretched it far out I am sure my thighs were out in the open. He took his time spanking me one at a time while looking at me with the excitement of a dog. His mouth was actually wide open. When I sat down, my deskie told me that my ass was lowkey twerking when he landed his pipe on it. Boy was it embarrassing…
So here I was, satisfying fetishes!