Love

Love On The Brain

I’m a university student; Member of the JKUAT fraternity, a position that I will soon lose on account of my graduation. If you have been listening, you have probably heard the fine words that love can best be found in campus. There is no love out there and anyway, we will be too busy building our future and shaping our lives to pay attention to that cute dame or lad on the corner, winking at us and trying to lure us into themselves. Love is said to be sweet here, you can make all mistakes… You can give your all… You are not to busy… And anyway, every corner you step into there is a new guy or girl who you can connect with at a personal level.

Love is a beautiful thing.

Love is a blindfold. Love is dangerous when it’s only in your brain!

I used to believe them when they said love is sweet in campus… But of late I find myself doubting the very existence of the word love. You see, my partner broke up with me a month a after we started dating and at a strategic time- after we shagged. It wasn’t the typical smooth breakup where someone says that the relationship is not working and you two aren’t compatible and all that shenanigans.. No. He just went mia on me and every message I sent was served with a blue tick.

I would find myself scrolling up to our chats finding the sweet nothings he told me; of how he wanted me and that I was the love of his life. He even said he will marry me and he introduced me to his friends. I always wondered why his friends would whisper to themselves and laugh whenever I passed. My ego lied to me that probably I was a catch and they wondered how a woman like me would end up with him. Oh no do not get me wrong, he was good looking in all aspects… Tall, dark and handsome… But a drunk and a frequent weed stoner does not frequently land his hands on a church mouse like me. I didn’t even know how to dress on a condom then.

Love is a beautiful thing.

Love is a blindfold. Love is dangerous when it’s only in your brain!

So yes… Back to me being dumped… I saw him again. This time with a not a new catch but his so called ex fondling in the pavements of jkuat halls of residence. He was whispering something in her ear. My heart did crack a bit (Okay alot) when I saw them and I found myself hiding behind my room’s curtains while peeping with just an eye. That is where is dawned to me… I got played! Whether I was a trophy girl or just some bet I don’t know but it was clear these two never broke up.

So that is where love took me. To the bed of a college punk with my legs wide open and my brain deeply shut. His love for me was just in my head. With the little dignity I had left I deleted his number and took a shower. (Whenever I make a big decision I take a shower- mainly so that I can cry in secret but what gives?) Since then, I found it too hard to trust a man and through this spirals of mine I found myself in the arms of a woman.

Love is a beautiful thing.

Love is a blindfold. Love is dangerous when it’s only in your brain!

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She was tender, soft and sweet. She had this habit of taking care of me and making sure I was comfortable. This I came to learn she was doing for another. That day in particular I happened to be holding her phone texting someone for her while she was doing the dishes. A message popped in of a certain girl calling her all this beautiful names… I opened it of course and went on to read the chat. A wrong decision maybe… A cheap move for sure but it was my feelings and emotional security I was worried about. I wanted to know if this girl was just some girl crushing on my woman or it was a consensual relationship. My lady had showered her with words that even I didn’t get to have heard. That was the end of me and her. The girl in question was actually someone she had sworn they had no relationship with… Someone I knew and someone I befriended. They were busy laughing at me and making my ignorance behind my back!

Read more at disruptive love

Love is a beautiful thing.

Love is a blindfold. Love is dangerous when it’s only in your brain!

Pangs and pains aside… I don’t mean to make you distrust your partner or call off whatever it is you are having… But it’s about time you find out what the intentions of you and your partner are. Don’t let it blind you… Don’t let it consume you… Don’t let it take over you!

What times has love been a dissapointment for you?
Did you learn from your mistakes?
Do you think you can fall on love again?

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